Is it time for you to start going out on dates? Have you been out of the dating stream for a while? How will you know when you are ready?
Take a look at this readiness quiz, and give yourself a score of one to ten on each area. Start your quiz by saying the following:
I will know when I am ready for a great dating life, available to meet interesting people that I may want to consider for a future long-term relationship when:
1. I have a network of support.
I have friends and family members who love me and support my endeavors. (I do not have a house full of free-loaders. I have appropriate boundaries with negative family members. I do not encourage or tolerate people in my life who are unkind to me.)
2. I have cleaned up my past relationships.
Better known as “baggage”, old relationships that are over but need to be let go of no longer haunt my life. I have completed my divorce, said goodbye to the old lover, made peace with my parents, and brought closure to relationships that no longer serve me.
3. I have a career future.
I am engaged in a job or studies or realistic plans that contribute to my career future. I get along well with my co-workers. (I am not lying on the couch, watching TV all day, waiting for opportunity or jobs to knock on my door.)
4. I am open to healthy new adventures.
Since dating life is a big adventure, I am open to what lies in store for me. I have my own set of rules and parameters of what is okay and what is not, but I am willing to consider new activities. (I’m not planning on bungee jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, but I definitely am willing to go to a new museum, concert, city, park, restaurant, street fair, etc.)
5. I contribute positively to someone’s life.
I do something nice for someone at least once a day. (Besides feeding the dog.)
6. I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
I am addiction free, have a weekly exercise routine, watch what I eat, and am generally upbeat about life. I am not afraid to say that I need help if I am struggling in those areas.
7. I am loyal and trustworthy.
I am known to keep my word and handle my agreements. I do not say one thing and do another. My friends, neighbors, and family members know that they can count on me.
8. I am responsible with my finances.
I am good at budgeting and living within my income. If I am not happy with the amount of money I make, I am also good at figuring out how to create what I need.
9. I have a strong single life.
I am not looking for someone to make my miserable life happy. I have people, activities, hobbies, and work that I love. I wouldn’t mind sharing my life with someone wonderful, but I am complete on my own.
10. I know what I want.
I have learned from past relationships and experiences that I have some very definite requirements in order for my life to be happy. I know that if I compromise those requirements, I will not be the person I need to be. I know what my values, requirements, and visions are for my life.
Give yourself a score from one to ten on each of these categories. The lowest rated areas are the ones you need to work on. While you work on your challenging areas, take a look at your strengths and celebrate them. These are the strengths you take to your dating life.
If you score above 80, you are ready to date with ease. If you score between 80 and 50, you need to take dating slowly while you work on your life.
If you score below 50, give yourself a break from dating and focus on what one category you can improve. When you grow strong in one area, several others will improve at the same time.
Your dating life is waiting for you.