A temper tantrum is a show of protest for or against something, especially to get things done in one’s favour. However, when the term is used in most cases, a certain age bracket immediately comes to mind. Many of us feel tantrums are mostly exhibited by babies and toddlers, but that is not true. As a mum and with my years of experience, I have seen a lot of teenagers, even adults throwing tantrums. The funny thing about it is that we sometimes like to sugar coat it, by giving it fancy names. Temper tantrums are not synonymous to kids alone, it is also prominent in teenagers. I am not ashamed to admit as an adult, that I have equally had my moments. Whether it happens in kids, teenagers or adults is not the problem, but how you deal with temper tantrums, is what matters.
Being a mum to 3 teenagers and a pre-teen, I still deal with temper tantrums now and then. It can be very exhausting on you as a parent, but you still need to address it, for peace to reign. I sometimes wish I could wave a magic wand to make it all disappear, especially when you are on your last nerve. There are times my teenagers whine and fight over the most irrelevant things, just to prove a point. These times have made me wandered and thought of ways to deal with the situation. In my course of researching and dealing with this, I was able to come up with tips and ideas. These I feel will help a lot of parents to learn how to best deal with temper tantrums in teenagers.
How To Deal With Tantrums In Teenagers
Understand Their Personalities.
There are so many things you need to put into consideration as a parent when dealing with your older children. You must know that children have different personalities and each one of them needs to be understood. There is usually a clash of personalities in the house amongst children, this in most cases causes chaos in the home. As teenagers, they always want to make their voices heard louder than when they were kids, they are more opinionated. In the process of trying to pass their messages across, they feel powerless when they feel sidelined. This makes them lash out most times and degenerates to a temper tantrum when not properly managed.
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Favouritism amongst your children can be damaging and dangerous, children can easily feel left out if this happens. Never shower more love and affection on any of your children, more than the other. This can set a teenager off, unknown to many parents. It creates an unhealthy environment in the home and gives room for hatred amongst your kids. When this happens, you get nothing but temper tantrums, therefore in other to avoid this, you as a parent must avoid favouritism in the home.
More On How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In Teenagers- Be Attentive:
One thing I have learned about teenagers is that they love to be heard, they love a good listener. They want someone who can understand them and relate with them on a more personal level. It is important for you as a parent to be attentive and make them feel heard. When teenagers feel they are not being listened to, they express themselves more aggressively. To avoid this, parents must lend a listening ear, be more present to their needs and make them feel that their opinions matter.
Learn To Reward Good Behaviour.
Many parents are always quick to point out faults in their children, without knowing how this affects them emotionally. They see you as a rebel, each time you do this and there is nothing that frustrates teenagers more than that. Worse still, is when you go as far as comparing them to the counterparts that are doing better than them. These are poor judgements on the part of parents and must be looked into, in order not to stretch their patience. I do not by no means, infer that parents should not scold their teenagers, but also remember to balance this out. How do you go about this, you may ask, well, start by always rewarding good behaviour as at when due. Let them know that it is okay to make mistakes sometimes and appreciate the little efforts they exhibit. Learn to shower them with gifts and love.
Temper Tantrums In Teenagers
Be Patient & Calm.
The moment you notice your teenagers are having a temper tantrum, you must control yourself and remain calm as much as you can. This can easily set a parent off, but at that moment patience is required. Moreover, it is not an ideal situation for you to be caught up in an argument with your child. Your ability to be calm will help to diffuse the situation before it escalates. This is even an opportunity to teach your teenager that being patient and calm is one of the best approaches to resolving problems. When you think of how to best deal with temper tantrums in teenagers, let patience and calm be a part of your solution. Teenagers need you to be patient with them, they can easily get irritated. The last thing you want on your hands is an irritated teenager.
Lead By Example.
The way you handle situations as they occur in life is very important because children look at us and copy. You cannot teach your teenager to be rational when you are not, you must lead by example. The best way to teach our children is to practise what we preach. Learn to control your temper when caught up in an unpleasant condition. They will realise that having a temper tantrum does not profer solution to problems. If you do not want your teenagers forming a bad habit, then show them better with the way you live your life.
Preach Love & Unity.
Learn to teach your teenagers the importance of showing love to people around them. The best part of life is when you can occupy your heart with love and positive thoughts. Always reassure your teenagers of the love you have for them. They need to know that you love them regardless and you will always be there for them. It is your duty as a parent to create a bond amongst your children in the home by constantly stressing on the need to unite. Always remember that love conquers all and whatever your teenagers may be going through, heal them with your love and affection. This is the best way to reach out to them most of the times, do not miss out on this important fact.
The way you choose to handle a temper tantrum in your teenager is important, therefore be careful and considerate. Remember, they are lashing out for something, try to figure it out. It may be they need more attention, love and affection, just as in the case of dealing with a toddler tantrum. Sit back, have a moment to yourself, think about it and reach out. Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic, if it inspires you, share it with your friends and families. Do you know how helpful this will be to someone out there? So let’s pass on the love.