How to say NO without feeling bad » 9ja Village!

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A lot of people do not know how to say no. Our society has taught us to always lookout for others’ best interests and do things that look appealing before them. Well, the problem is that we have only 24 hours in a day. There’s only so much you can do within that short time. How do you balance achieving your own goals while trying to please every Dick, Tom, and Harry?

The best way to say no is to carefully identify what your immediate and long-term goals are, and find out if the requests are matching up to those goals. The crazy part about it is that these requests are often from family members whom we cannot resist.  

The truth is, not every opportunity is meant for you. This is why it’s so important to know who you are, and what you want out of life. Understanding your personal brand will help you to decipher what you want and what you don’t. Someone may offer an opportunity but it may be a distraction because no one knows you like YOU. They only have a sense of what you want, but only you know what is best for you.

So, let’s say you already declined the offer internally, but you may have a hard time telling that to someone for fear of disappointing them. How do you tell someone NO without sounding uncaring? How do you tell them certain things while putting personality differences into consideration?

Let’s find out

How to say NO without feeling bad

1.    Distinguish between an opportunity and a distraction

If you want to know how to say NO without feeling bad, you have to distinguish between an opportunity and a distraction. This starts by defining your personal brand and outlining your mission. If your mission is to be a world-class architect, you have no business becoming a brand influencer for makeup products.

This applies to short-term goals as well. Once you outline your goals for the week and a request comes in, ask yourself if they are in line with your personal and professional goals. If it’s someone you prioritize, ask yourself if you can spare that much time

2.    Blame the workload you have

One of the best ways to say NO to someone is to outline the amount of work you have to do, and tell them that it won’t permit the proposed task to be done.

You may have the knowledge or expertise to carry it out, but once you say you’re very occupied, 90% of the requests will naturally fade

3.    Blame it on the country

Nigeria is the cause of everyone’s problem, and it is in the real sense. It’s the foundational problem.

When asked, blame it on the situation of the country. Blame anything in the country that can be blamed, from power inconsistency bad roads, poor governance, traffic, increasing costs of food stuff, etc.

4.    Refer them to someone else

This works especially if you are being asked to do a job or handle something. In a work space, the best thing to do is to refer to someone else.

It helps to ease the pain that comes with your not-so-apparent rejection. If it’s not you, then it’s them. You can take the extra mile to make arrangements and ensure that the work is done successfully

5.    Say you don’t do that

Again, this works for an series of events. If you are being asked to do something that you don’t want to, simply say you don’t do that or explain that its not in line with your brand. But you can refer them to someone that is qualified and reliable

6.    Just say NO

Saying No straightaway takes a lot of courage and effort, but it will save you a lot of stress in the long run. It’s hard to say NO because people don’t accept NOs for an answer, so they will be very persistent. Too persistent even. Over-persistence may cause you to reluctantly say yes.

But you should understand that its your time and you should be accountable for it, despite what anybody thinks or says


Saying No can be very difficult especially if you’re someone that puts the needs of others first. But you have to understand that you have to consider your dreams, goals, and objectives. Otherwise, you’d forsake them trying to make others happy.

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An open minded personality.. fun to be with, because of my positive vibes. God fearing, for without God I am nothing.. Moved with compassion when dealing with you, not selfish or self-centered...

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