Got inspired to make this post since it’s coming up to Chinese New Year soon. But I believe this is equally applicable to any race or religion that has an annual big holiday. So for Christians it’d be Christmas, for Chinese it’d be CNY, yada yada you get the point.
Came across a Reddit post just now written as a rant about how to handle what they termed as “nosy/intrusive” questions during holiday season from family and relatives. Such questions basically including “what are you doing now for work/do you have a dating partner yet/when you gonna have a baby/when you gonna get married/when you going to find a job/what you gonna study” etc.
I felt a twinge of sadness when I realised I could not empathise or relate to any of the questions.
Because during holiday season, I don’t have relatives to visit, or visit me.
My family is the very definition of a nuclear family. Dad, Mum and me. All of my extended family on both maternal/paternal sides reside in another, and even before the pandemic we didn’t go back to visit much, if at all because they’re pretty much either distant or estranged from us.
So yeah. My holiday season is never bugged with such questions.
And contrary to what most of you might think…
I kind of wish someone gave a shit to ask me such questions you all take so much effort to try and avoid. Because my parents sure as fuck don’t give a fuck.
I don’t mind so much when they don’t constantly bug me about when I’m going to find a job/what I want to do for a career. But it’s hurtful in a backhanded manner when they don’t seem to give a shit about their only child who’s turning 28, and yet hasn’t had a single successful relationship that lasted more than a year, and they don’t even question why I don’t have a girlfriend, or when I’ll find someone. Like, I’m your son. Your only child. You don’t care enough to even ask or tell me that you hope I meet someone right soon and settle down soon? You two spent more than a decade trying to conceive me after you got married, and yet you two are so laissez-faire about my lifelong happiness or luck in settling down with someone and having a kid in future when I’m rapidly reaching the age when my dad became a father to me… and I’m still single with no luck finding someone I’m mutually compatible to date and settle down with?
So yeah. Only child. No relatives or even parents giving a shit about my future happiness or happy ending with someone. To those who bitch about having to entertain such questions during holiday season, I hope you never have to experience the loneliness of no expectations or hopes for your life from people who are linked to you by blood.