“I slept with him and now he’s ignoring me,” said the woman full of regret and confusion. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone were to explain to us why men chase us like crazy and once we share intimacy, they disappear off the face of the earth? It’s happened to you, hasn’t it? You like him, a lot. Having sex seemed like a great idea so you did and then he ran for the hills as fast as he could. You’ve tried to contact him but he’s full of ready excuses for why he can’t see you again. You’re despondent because you believed he had promise. You hoped and wanted a real relationship with him. If you’re living in this situation now, don’t be too quick to throw in the towel and count him out of your life.
Before you can work at reconnecting with him, you have to face the reality that intimacy changed things dramatically. Many women in your position try to explain away the man’s behavior by thinking that he got very busy after they made love or he is so overwhelmed by desire, that he has to take a step back just so he can breathe. Neither of these is the case at all. He’s ignoring you now because he’s uncomfortable. Chances are very good that he realized that you were intimate with him too early in the relationship and it turned him off.
It’s often hard for a woman to wrap her head around this type of reaction from a man. After all, he was the one who was in hot pursuit of you before you two slept together, right? So how could he possibly find it unappealing once you did? Simple. In his mind if you’re intimate with him that quickly, you’re doing the same thing with every other man you’ve dated.
Moving from that mindset back to being attracted to you again is definitely possible. It’s up to you to make it happen though. You need to grab his interest back. That may seem too challenging given the fact that he’s ignoring you, but there are definite ways.
Start by calling him up and leaving him a voicemail. Make it short and sweet and just say that you’d really enjoy meeting up for coffee or lunch. Don’t sound desperate. Loads of self confidence is the key.
If he doesn’t return the call, send him a text with the same message. If he is still interested at all he’ll respond. Meet with him and keep things very light. Talk about general issues like the weather or what’s happening in the news. Ask him about his work. Smile and laugh. Let him see that you’re able to hold your head up high and move forward after your dating blunder.
Keep all your future meetings carefree and innocent. If he starts to see all the other aspects of your personality shining through he’s bound to find you intriguing all over again. Once enough time has passed and you feel that there’s a strong intellectual connection there, then reintroduce sex into the relationship.