We are both 27, and we are long distance. Things have been going great, and he has told me this is the deepest connection he has ever had with anyone. We had talked just the other day about settling down with each other, and I felt like everything in my life was where it was supposed to be.
Fast forward to last night. He admitted to me that he is not a one-woman man. He said he doesn’t see himself settling down with one woman and building a household with her, ever. He would instead, prefer to have relationships with multiple women at one time. 3 women, max. He would not be comfortable with these women having relationships with others, though.
Despite all this, he said he loves me and still wants to be with me, but that he was letting me know this about him so he wouldn’t cheat on me in the future. I am taking time to think.
I thought he was joking when he told me all of this because this has never come up before. He swears he hasn’t cheated on me or met someone else. But that our convo about settling down triggered him into really thinking about what he wants.
I love this man and saw a future with him. He is my best friend and the love of my life. Even though we are long distance, he has become so intertwined in my life to the point where I feel lost without him. A part of me is willing to try and see how this goes because it could make our relationship stronger.
At the same time, I am a very jealous person. And I do want to get married and have kids one day. I feel like that dream is slipping away from me though, as I keep failing in relationships. I’m also afraid I will never find anyone else like my ex. He is insanely attractive and we get along so well.
I feel like this situation may be a good way for me to prepare to distance myself emotionally while I keep him as a friend and work on myself. I do want to stay in touch with him, I just don’t want to know what he is doing with other girls. And I will miss the intimacy we have.
I’m supposed to go see him for Valentine’s day. Now, I am wondering if I should go at all. I could make it into a last hoorah with some break up sex. Or should I begin to remove myself now? I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and undesirable. I spiraled and looked at my ex bf’s social media. He just bought a house with the girl he dumped me for, and here I am 🙂
What would you do in this situation?
Tl;dr: boyfriend admitted to me that he wants to have the option to be in other relationships, but the other women would not be allowed to date. A part of me is considering trying this with him because I love him so much. I just want to keep him in my life somehow.