Effective communication is important in both the Argentine Tango and in our relationships. But aside from talking verbally with our partners, Tango teaches us a lot about non-verbal, body-based language. You do not talk. You do not exactly look at each other. Yet we are able to tune our bodies to the slightest changes of energies, the warmth of the body, or lack of it.
Once we learn how to take non-verbal cues on the dance floor, that ability transitions over to real life. Life becomes tango and tango becomes life.
The Argentine Tango is a partner dance performed by a leader and a follower. The male usually takes the lead, and the female responds by following the leader’s cues. However, for this structure to work, trust should be present between the dancers. Regardless of how skilled the leader is, if the follower doesn’t trust him, the two can’t sustain their dance-floor relationship. Lack of trust can prevent us from progressing or improving
Trust can be interpreted in many ways. Physically. When you whole-heartedly respond to the volcada or colgada – you trust. Not only that your partner will be there to catch you, but also that he is aware of his abilities, that he knows what he is doing, and is confident that he can handle it. When the leader is proposing the movement to the Follower – he trusts that she feels it, analyzes it to honestly decide if she can or cannot do it. It takes seconds and often is totally subconscious. There are no mistakes in tango. Each movement can create something unexpected. We just have to listen to our bodies and trust.
But trust is also letting your partner go dancing with someone else without fear of losing. And taking them back with the perfume of other men or women on their necks. And seeing them letting you go with embedded certainty that you will be back. There are a lot of emotions passing through your heart within one night of tango. Are you happy here and now?
There are several codes in tango helping you steer clear from the danger of… yourself and sometimes of favorable or unfavorable (depending on what you are looking for) circumstances. The first and last tada of the night belongs to the companion you came in with. That’s the feeling you came with and the ones you are taking home.
Tango Encourages Spending Time Together
Start early. And continue forever. Tango will give you pretext and excuse to be together, not for chores, but for entertainment. As adults, we are often so busy in our lives that we fail to regularly spend time with our life partners. More often than not, couples often only communicate at the end of the day or, in worse cases, only when there is conflict.
The more inexperienced we are, the more time we’ll need to learn the dance. Practicing for long hours may seem tiring, but when we’re doing it with someone we care about, learning how to dance help us to take our relationships to the next level.
Signing up for a dance class with our current or future life partner allows us to break free from the monotony of our daily routines and experience something exciting together in a different environment. Spending time with our life partner while learning the Argentine Tango allows us to catch up and connect in a healthy, romantic way. And since Tango translates into life so easily – while learning to Tango, you learn how to live.
Tango Creates Conflicts. Tango Resolves Conflicts
Conflict is common in every relationship. In fact, conflict is necessary. Conflict understood as a contradiction to apathy. If there is no conflict it either means you always agree – possible, though unlikely, or – that one of you does not care. We talking here about average relationships, not the ones filled with violence, in which conflict might mean something else. Indifference, in most cases, indicates loss of interest. Loss of passion follows. Conflict allows for resolution and cleansing.
Regardless of how long we’ve been together with our partner, we’ll still have arguments that can cause ongoing conflicts for days, sometimes weeks. While the little dispute and difference of opinion are good, not focusing on solving them – is not so good.
While there are many ways to resolve conflict in a relationship, dancing the Argentine Tango is one that’s both highly effective and educational.
In most cases, Tango will recreate your argument, not in an exact manner, but in some sort of allegory hidden in the movement.
Take sacadas – displacement of the free leg, that for the on-looker may seem like creating the opportunity of a potential crash. However, for the insider, sacada is a visual illusion and it is actually based on time-related cooperation. Yes, we are crashing – but with Matrix-like time suspension and delay and infusion of circularity, so that when you are inside the movement – you not perceiving a collision at all.